brace yourself

I don't know if anyone still reads my blog. Probably not, considering there's nothing to read anymore. Sorry. My life has become student teaching. When I am not teaching, I am preparing for teaching, talking about teaching, dreaming about teaching, or rushing through meals and chores so that I can get back to my lesson planning. Once in a while I try to escape and do something different, but even while squatting in weight lifting class this morning at the YMCA, I was putting together a list in my head of everything I wanted to accomplish this weekend in order to be prepared for Monday. It consumes me.

My family has also been dealing with the fact that my Dad was recently diagnosed with prostate cancer. That word. Cancer. It's like a punch to the gut. The situation is good though. He was proactive and caught it very early. The issue now is not the cancer itself, but the getting rid of it. I think he is leaning towards surgery, but either way, treatment has its own risks and side effects. My plan is that he will be totally back to normal in no time at all. My Dad is a very healthy guy and we don't have a history of cancer in our family. That, along with the fact that I am willing it to happen, is why my plan is going to work.

Scary- but did you know that one in six men will get prostate cancer in their lifetime!? Yeah!! Really! So go tell all the men you know to go get checked. Guys are a little more shy than us women. We've got our 40-mile walks, hot pink ribbons and booby bracelets all over the place - but it's time to raise awareness about prostate cancer. Go. Now. Tell someone. Then send some good vibes my Dad's way.

So, if you've hit your quota of emotional reading material for the day, it's time to quit. There's a lot that I would love to share about student teaching, but just like the actual experience, it's a roller coaster. Up, down, up, down, up, down. Throw in some screaming, barf, and that feeling of being out of control and that pretty much sums it up. You don't know why you keep getting on, but something about it is just so satisfying.

Let's start with some ups...

- The student production of "Grease the Musical."  SO MUCH TALENT.

- Community Day where organizations and businesses from the Northside came to talk to the students about what they do and how to turn their interests into careers.

- The incredible talents of the Step Team, Breakdance Club, Tumbling Team, and Hmong Dancers.

- The showing of the film "Bullied", followed by a guest appearance and discussion with Jamie Nabozny himself.

- Student comments like "You icy Ms. Westby. I like you."

- Kids who have been in this country only 5 months using the term "first order heterotroph" correctly in a sentence.

- One of my special ed students suddenly outperforming most of the regular ed students in class.

- Spring break! Only a week away and my chance to finally catch up with life :)


And then there are the downs...

- Several students are leaving because our interventions are no longer effective. Their behavior has gotten out of control. I worry about where they will end up and if they will ever get the help they really need.

- A star student losing his head and the resulting media attention. So many of my students look up to him as a role model. The situation is incredibly disappointing and upsetting for everyone.

- Scary politics. Would you support a law that made it easier to become a doctor, lawyer, or police officer? Do you think that it would attract more people to the profession? How do you they would do with less training? What type of people would you expect to be attracted to this new easier, alternative route? So why is it okay for teachers? Is that what we want for kids? And where is this teacher shortage you speak of? Teachers are being laid off every day because of cut backs and school closings. Get real.

- Wisconsin deciding to take away collective bargaining rights for public workers. Take away public workers rights and call it "balancing the budget" and then turn around and offer tax breaks to the rich. Real smart.

- Looking over teaching contracts and the legal issues of being a teacher, mandated reporter, and public employee. The accountability and responsibility is HUGE. The salary and benefits... not so much. The highest salary on the chart for a teacher with a PhD and over 15 years is less than the starting salary of a pharmacist. I know this because one of my friends in class is a pharmacist trying to become a math teacher. God bless her.

Did you make it to the end of my post!? If so, thanks for reading - I know I unloaded a lot this time. Maybe over spring break I'll have a chance to do something lighthearted or crafty and then blog about it. Fingers crossed!!!

"How's it going?" you ask?

Well hey folks!

Long time, no blog!

Since my last post I left my job of 2.5 years, took a week off and enjoyed some much needed R and R, and this past week I started my semester-long student teaching gig. Awesome! Well, I thought it was going to be awesome, but unfortunately things did not unfold all sunshine and smiles. On my first day, I got lost trying to find the classroom right off the bat. Thankfully I was early so I showed up at 7:15 as planned... unfortunately, my host teacher was nowhere to be found. I wandered around and made my way to the staff meeting we had planned on attending and finally found my teacher when she arrived somewhere around 7:30. Thus began the pattern of being lost and not knowing where to go or what to do that week.

By the end of the first day I was completely exhausted. The next morning I woke up with a massive cold and felt like I had been hit my a truck. I am not supposed to miss ANY days, so I hauled myself out of bed, popped some ibuprofen and made my way to North Minneapolis. I survived until lunch. My skin ached, my head felt like it had been kicked, and the spins were setting in. As I visualized the route to the staff bathroom (a floor and two hallways down, where you have to use one of four unmarked identical keys to gain access) in my head, I realized toughing out my wooziness was probably not something I should be attempting at this point. So I gave up and went home. The whole time all I could think was that my teacher didn't believe me. She probably thought I was just weak. A quitter. Pathetic.

I spent the next two days in a cold-medicine induced fog. Still feeling lost, alone and very out of place. Still not sure what my host teacher expected of me and not really feeling like I was gaining any insight on the whole student teaching experience. Thankfully, after school on Friday, we finally had a chance to sit down and talk about what I would be doing. I think I finally am adjusting to her communication style, which is pretty different from my own. Not bad - just different. I would call her "go with the flow" while I tend to be more "go with the detailed, diagrammed, outlined, and pre-scheduled flow." Could have been the cold-medicine fog that I was under too though...

I have a feeling that going with the flow is probably helpful for someone teaching at a school like this. The population is about half Hmong, half African American, with a few white kids sprinkled in here and there. I was at one point worried I might be mistaken for a student, but as soon as I walked in, everyone automatically took me for staff. A white woman not wearing a hoodie, skinny jeans or Uggs is obviously staff member. It was a strange realization that my skin color gave me automatic authority and credibility. The students are incredibly good kids and many of them come from incredibly difficult situations. They are for the most part respectful, nice, positive and friendly. This is amazing when you consider that in the first week I was made aware of several homeless students, students who had lost family members to violence, students who are "married" and pregnant, students with no transportation, and students with some very troubling family situations.  I overheard kids talking about not sleeping because of gunshots fired overnight, getting drunk on a cousins "homemade" booze, and fist fights over boyfriends and girlfriends. Did I mention these kids are freshman? Yeah fifteen and sixteen years-old and I only have about a hundred of them.  All of that in this small group of about 100 students. When I was fifteen I was still collecting Hello Kitty stuff and putting mascara on in the locker room when I got to school so my Mom wouldn't know. Needless to say, the motivations, teaching strategies and dialog is completely different.

So that was my week guys. Oh yeah, then my truck died last night and the hood wouldn't open. Dad came to my rescue and we spent a very frigid few hours late last night towing my truck around a strange neighborhood in the dark trying to drop it in gear and get it to start. No go. We both had to skip the races we were supposed to coach today and spent the day with my brother towing the truck across Burnsville, thawing it out, recharging the battery, realizing I needed a new battery, getting a new battery, and then laughing over Davanni's hoagies and being grateful that the situation didn't end up being worse. I am so lucky to have them. They have come to my rescue more times than I can count. I don't know what I would do without them.

So I say so long to this past week, and I look forward to a fresh start tomorrow, with considerably less congested sinuses and a strong new battery to beat these freezing cold MN temps.

Bring it on!

Things I learned this week...

There is something oddly comforting about shopping at the Target you grew up shopping in. Even if it has been completely remodeled into a Super Target.

Scandinavians love to eat food that is white. It has nothing to do with race and everything to do with starch.

The Sonicare toothbrush will change your life.

Northeast Minneapolis is not really on the northeast side of Minneapolis. It's called Northeast because of the city's street naming system where all streets north and east of the Mississippi were labeled "NE." It is sometimes referred to as "Nordeast" as a tribute to the immigrant influence and their central European accents. It is also where I will be doing my student teaching starting January 19th.

Quitting my job last Thursday was ten times more difficult than I thought it was going to be. I have formed some amazing friendships here and I will miss them immensely. It will take a lot of effort not to shed any tears on January 7th, but you can bet that I will do my darndest to hold them back... at least until the car ride home. 

I have no problem squeezing glass ornaments (until they shatter in my hands) but I do have a hard time squeezing my new caroling Christmas bear. Also - some family memories really don't need to be posted on YouTube.

Cherrrrrryyy Mistmas!!!

This sums up how I feel right about now.

Festive... but uff da.

I'll fill you in later. Right now it's time for me to get my Christmas on!

Christmas Miracle

Thanks to Operation Christmas Spirit, I had a major, life-altering revelation on the drive home from work today.

I was merrily singing along to the song Mele Kalikimaka, when it came to the second to the last line... I belted, "Mele Kalikimaka is the wiiiiissse wayyyy, to say Merry Christmas to yooouuuu..."

WHEN IT HIT ME.

It is NOT "THE WISE WAY" to say Merry Christmas my friends. It is actually "HAWAII'S WAY!"

HOLY NIGHT! I can't believe I have gone all these years singing the wrong words. I feel like I have seen the light. This is truly a Christmas miracle. Go ahead and laugh, but don't you sit there and tell me you've never made an embarrassing song lyrics blunder. It happens ALL THE TIME. This, however, is bigger than just any old song. This is a classic Christmas carol.

My world will never be the same.

Operation Christmas Spirit

I woke up this morning feeling so relieved that I had made it through the week. Let's just say it has been quite a week. In the past five days, I have only eaten one meal at a table and that was yesterday, during my lunch break, with my Mom, at Target. Yikes. For the most part, it has all been positive and productive, but this morning, after the wave of relief washed over me, I realized that everything has been very much lacking in Christmas spirit.

COMMENCE OPERATION CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!

I got up and immediately pulled a BRIGHT green top and snowflake socks out of my dresser. Okay, so maybe it was a tank top and maybe I wore it under a black shirt, but whatever, it's a cozy ski shirt and I like to take advantage of my casual Fridays, plus ski shirt = snow = winter = festive. Then, on the drive to work I FINALLY tuned my radio to 107.9 for some Christmas music and sang out loud to Feliz Navidad and I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas. Don't worry, the irony was not lost on me during the last song as I navigated my way down roads with entire lanes still missing under piles of snow.

From now until the 26th, I am all Christmas baby. Indeed, Andy Williams, it IS the most wonderful time of the year. Time for love, giving, caring, and peace. And Holidazzle, baking, candy cane socks, Toys for Tots, Elf, and in my Christmas mugs :) I am letting go of the stress and embracing the magic that is Christmas. I know it takes some effort, but I hope you can too.

Fah who For-aze
Dah who dor-aze
Welcome Christmas
Come this way!

The storm that was almost as epic as Halloween '91...

Are you sick of hearing the same old stories about people trying to dig their cars out or how the Metrodome roof collapsed? I know I am, but I am going to rehash the weekend anyway. So there. Like you have anything better to read about anyway.

So, the Midwest got puked on big time on Saturday. In my head, 20 inches didn't really sound that bad. I am used to thinking of "feet" of snow in terms of glorious powder days out West. I've driven up Little Cottonwood Canyon in much worse. No big deal, right?

Wrong. It was a huge deal. There is no where to put it. We got shut down. No bus service, highways closed, no concerts, even the plows were called off the roads for a while on Saturday because the visibility was ZERO. Schools are still closed today. People are just buried. This morning, out CFO is driving around and picking people up to bring them to work.

Here is a link to some crazy photos from the news, and here are some photos I took while stuck in my apartment over the weekend...

Saturday: It's snowing...

still snowing...

blowing and drifting...

Sunday A.M. - There are stairs under there somewhere.

Whoa drift.

Evidence that squirrels weigh less than the snow and cars do not.

There are stairs at the back door too. Those are grills to the right. That stupid orange shovel bit the dust after two hours :(

So far, however, ski practice is NOT cancelled for the evening. Here are the current conditions... note the "feels like" temperatures.... also note; practice begins this evening... after the temperature starts to drop... i.e. my face might FALL OFF.