Showing posts with label frustration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label frustration. Show all posts

Sunday, January 23, 2011

"How's it going?" you ask?

Well hey folks!

Long time, no blog!

Since my last post I left my job of 2.5 years, took a week off and enjoyed some much needed R and R, and this past week I started my semester-long student teaching gig. Awesome! Well, I thought it was going to be awesome, but unfortunately things did not unfold all sunshine and smiles. On my first day, I got lost trying to find the classroom right off the bat. Thankfully I was early so I showed up at 7:15 as planned... unfortunately, my host teacher was nowhere to be found. I wandered around and made my way to the staff meeting we had planned on attending and finally found my teacher when she arrived somewhere around 7:30. Thus began the pattern of being lost and not knowing where to go or what to do that week.

By the end of the first day I was completely exhausted. The next morning I woke up with a massive cold and felt like I had been hit my a truck. I am not supposed to miss ANY days, so I hauled myself out of bed, popped some ibuprofen and made my way to North Minneapolis. I survived until lunch. My skin ached, my head felt like it had been kicked, and the spins were setting in. As I visualized the route to the staff bathroom (a floor and two hallways down, where you have to use one of four unmarked identical keys to gain access) in my head, I realized toughing out my wooziness was probably not something I should be attempting at this point. So I gave up and went home. The whole time all I could think was that my teacher didn't believe me. She probably thought I was just weak. A quitter. Pathetic.

I spent the next two days in a cold-medicine induced fog. Still feeling lost, alone and very out of place. Still not sure what my host teacher expected of me and not really feeling like I was gaining any insight on the whole student teaching experience. Thankfully, after school on Friday, we finally had a chance to sit down and talk about what I would be doing. I think I finally am adjusting to her communication style, which is pretty different from my own. Not bad - just different. I would call her "go with the flow" while I tend to be more "go with the detailed, diagrammed, outlined, and pre-scheduled flow." Could have been the cold-medicine fog that I was under too though...

I have a feeling that going with the flow is probably helpful for someone teaching at a school like this. The population is about half Hmong, half African American, with a few white kids sprinkled in here and there. I was at one point worried I might be mistaken for a student, but as soon as I walked in, everyone automatically took me for staff. A white woman not wearing a hoodie, skinny jeans or Uggs is obviously staff member. It was a strange realization that my skin color gave me automatic authority and credibility. The students are incredibly good kids and many of them come from incredibly difficult situations. They are for the most part respectful, nice, positive and friendly. This is amazing when you consider that in the first week I was made aware of several homeless students, students who had lost family members to violence, students who are "married" and pregnant, students with no transportation, and students with some very troubling family situations.  I overheard kids talking about not sleeping because of gunshots fired overnight, getting drunk on a cousins "homemade" booze, and fist fights over boyfriends and girlfriends. Did I mention these kids are freshman? Yeah fifteen and sixteen years-old and I only have about a hundred of them.  All of that in this small group of about 100 students. When I was fifteen I was still collecting Hello Kitty stuff and putting mascara on in the locker room when I got to school so my Mom wouldn't know. Needless to say, the motivations, teaching strategies and dialog is completely different.

So that was my week guys. Oh yeah, then my truck died last night and the hood wouldn't open. Dad came to my rescue and we spent a very frigid few hours late last night towing my truck around a strange neighborhood in the dark trying to drop it in gear and get it to start. No go. We both had to skip the races we were supposed to coach today and spent the day with my brother towing the truck across Burnsville, thawing it out, recharging the battery, realizing I needed a new battery, getting a new battery, and then laughing over Davanni's hoagies and being grateful that the situation didn't end up being worse. I am so lucky to have them. They have come to my rescue more times than I can count. I don't know what I would do without them.

So I say so long to this past week, and I look forward to a fresh start tomorrow, with considerably less congested sinuses and a strong new battery to beat these freezing cold MN temps.

Bring it on!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

The Albatross and the Pacific Island Trash Vortex


Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer you guys, but there are just some things that have been really ruffling my feathers lately (pun intended). Luckily, I am not a bird living in the Gulf or near the Pacific Island Trash Vortex because the ruffling of feathers has become the very least of their problems. Have you heard of this massive amount of garbage floating around in the ocean? 

"It might sound like something out of an apocalyptic science fiction film, but I assure you—the Pacific Island Trash Vortex is very real indeed. It's essentially a huge carpet of garbage big enough to fill two Texases that's floating around due north of Hawaii. Still skeptical? Here's videographic proof of the Trash Vortex on the G Word. And here's a Greenpeace animation detailing the trash's path.

Okay, so there's a massive continent made of refuse floating around in the ocean. So what do we do about it? Let's not contribute to it, for starters."
http://planetgreen.discovery.com/travel-outdoors/reduce-pacific-trash-vortex.html

So if this does not strike you has a HUGELY AWFUL SITUATION. Let me also share with you the story of the Albatross. The Albatross is an endangered species and in the Northern Pacific and albatross chicks are fed plastic garbage by their parents. The adult birds are confusing the plastic trash in the water for food and feeding it to the chicks. In September of 2009, photographer Chris Jordan went to document what was happening to these birds.


"On this diet of human trash, every year tens of thousands of albatross chicks die on Midway from starvation, toxicity, and choking.

To document this phenomenon as faithfully as possible, not a single piece of plastic in any of these photographs was moved, placed, manipulated, arranged, or altered in any way. These images depict the actual stomach contents of baby birds in one of the world's most remote marine sanctuaries, more than 2000 miles from the nearest continent."

www.chrisjordan.com


Just think of that every time time you put your groceries a plastic bag or take a swig from your bottled water. And be careful with that cap... it's a choking hazard.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Facing reality

I just saw this photo online and my stomach dropped. OH MY GOODNESS!!! This is a loon in case you can't tell from all the gobs of oil. He apparently drowned shortly after this photo was taken.


This is awful and the worst part is that nobody seems to be able to do anything about it. We're just pointing fingers and playing the blame game. What is wrong with us? How could we have created something so horrendous? It's just sick. It seems to me like people used to talk about the potential hazards of our non-sustainable way of life and warn that "someday we're going to start seeing enormous environmental disasters if we continue to live like we do." Well, things have been going downhill for a while now. Giant pieces of the ice caps have been crumbling away and melting into the ocean. Polar bears are drowning. AND NOW THIS! We screwed up big time. We screwed ourselves.

I'm not about to blame anyone else either. I am just another person who is living in their happy little oblivious bubble, totally detached from the reality of it all. It's so easy to ignore. We have made it so easy. I really feel like I need to try and make a change though. I'm starting by avoiding that all-to-convenient BP on my drive home from work every night. NO MORE BP.

I can already hear you saying, "That's totally lame Kate, you think this is all BP's fault?!? I know, I hear you -  so I am also going to try to start riding my bike to work. I'm hoping that everything works out. I used to ride to work in high school and I went over my handle bars twice and once ran into the side of a minivan. I'm going to pick out a new helmet today or tomorrow :) No more excuses though - It's really not that big of a deal! This tiny little sacrifice is NOTHING compared to the loss and destruction on the Gulf Coasts. There are so many reasons to bike instead of drive, and I'm not going to ignore them anymore.

I can totally do this...well, at least until November...

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Stuck.


I have been working really hard for the past year and a half. This graduate school thing is definitely work... and then there is work.  Work is nothing like school, but, well, let's just say that it is definitely work. It has been a while since something really excellent has happened. Not that anything bad has happened, but I feel like it's time for something good.  Time for reward. It's gotta be close. I can sense there is something on the horizon. I am extremely grateful for the amazing life that I have. I don't have anything to complain about, but I'm starting to feel as though I am stuck running ladders at soccer practice without a water break in sight. No game. No opportunity for a win. No losses, but no trophies. 

Okay, so I'm not actually looking to play soccer here. I just feel like I am running out of steam. I need an incentive, a change or a little recognition... or maybe just a vacation. I don't know. No time to dwell on it now, I've got homework.

Wa-wa-wuuuaaaaahhh!
I'm such a Debbie-Downer - sorry guys :(

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Just smile dammit!



me: "Oh wow, the light is perfect right now! I'm going to take your picture - smile!"
Jake: "Uuuuuughhghghghbbbllfffffrrrgghhhh..."
me: "Come on, just smile."
Jake: "Durrr..."
me: "Come on now, just do one real smile and I will be done!"
Jake: "I hate this."
me: "Just look normal for two seconds, pretty please!!!"
Jake: "Gufahahaha!?!"
me: "JUST SMILE DAMMIT!"
Jake: "Are you done yet?"
me: "AAARRRRGGGGGHHHH! Yes. My battery just died. Grrrrrr..."